“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” John 13:34 NLT
Love is commanded. It is necessary. It is important. And we should do everything within our means to make sure that we express our love to our husbands as often as we can.
The anatomy of Gifts
Gifts are physical samples of our love. It is a (semi-)permanent declaration of what we feel. It is a trophy, a monument, a testimony of a heart-condition.
Gifts are NOT:
- about spending lots of money on things.
- a means to appease a guilty conscience.
- bribes and should never be used as “I will give you … if you will xxx” deal-makers.
- quick fixes for forgotten birthdays or special occasions
- thoughtless ‘things’ that you stock-pile in you cupboard for emergencies!
- thoughtful presents that tangibly show your spouse that you love and value them
- a fun way to challenge you to put your emotions into physical form
- not limited to a budget or size constraints. The smallest gestures often mean the world when they carry sincere thought and feeling with them.
- the end product of planning, preparation and effort
- unique for every person and every occasion!
The science of Gifts
Your husband might not need frequent gifts to feel valued and loved by you but occasional, special gestures / gifts are an essential ingredient to keep the language of love pouring into his heart. Remember that he needs to feel loved, valued and respected BY YOU!
Giving (& receiving) gifts isn’t about the materialistic product of the activity but rather about the fore-thought and effort that went into the gesture.
- Place a hand written note in his lunch box
- Buy his favourite chocolate and leave it in his car for him to find on the way to work
- Keep and share and interesting article that he would like
- Take a picture that would mean something to him and share it via e-mail
- Buy him a cup of coffee on the way home from church and enjoy the conversation that goes along with it!
Remember, a gift is not a payment. It is not a transaction that needs to be concluded. Give an receive freely!
Love one another
We are to “love one another” as we are loved by God. Which means wholly, completely, favourably, adoringly and so my list can go on and on!
Dr Chapman’s concept with the love languages is that we will feel loved, favoured and cherished when our spouse “speaks” to us in our primary love language. I agree! But… I believe we should step outside of our box. Don’t avoid the other languages (like gifts!) just because it isn’t your primary language. Use all the love languages and dialects to speak love, adoration and admiration to your husband.
Remember to give him:
- Your respect
- Your support
- Kindness (in words and actions)
He is after all, your one-and-only :)
Thanks for sharing my Cuppa.