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Love in the right language (part 4)

Giving… love!

Love is…

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” John 13:34 NLT

Love is commanded. It is necessary. It is important. And we should do everything within our means to make sure that we express our love to our husbands as often as we can.

The anatomy of Gifts

Gifts are physical samples of our love. It is a (semi-)permanent declaration of what we feel. It is a trophy, a monument, a testimony of a heart-condition.

Gifts are NOT:

  • about spending lots of money on things.
  • a means to appease a guilty conscience.
  • bribes and should never be used as “I will give you … if you will xxx” deal-makers.
  • quick fixes for forgotten birthdays or special occasions
  • thoughtless ‘things’ that you stock-pile in you cupboard for emergencies!

Gifts are:

  • thoughtful presents that tangibly show your spouse that you love and value them
  • a fun way to challenge you to put your emotions into physical form
  • not limited to a budget or size constraints. The smallest gestures often mean the world when they carry sincere thought and feeling with them.
  • the end product of planning, preparation and effort
  • unique for every person and every occasion!

The science of Gifts

Your husband might not need frequent gifts to feel valued and loved by you but occasional, special gestures / gifts are an essential ingredient to keep the language of love pouring into his heart. Remember that he needs to feel loved, valued and respected BY YOU!
Giving (& receiving) gifts isn’t about the materialistic product of the activity but rather about the fore-thought and effort that went into the gesture.

  • Place a hand written note in his lunch box
  • Buy his favourite chocolate and leave it in his car for him to find on the way to work
  • Keep and share and interesting article that he would like
  • Take a picture that would mean something to him and share it via e-mail
  • Buy him a cup of coffee on the way home from church and enjoy the conversation that goes along with it!

Remember, a gift is not a payment. It is not a transaction that needs to be concluded. Give an receive freely!

Love one another

We are to “love one another” as we are loved by God. Which means wholly, completely, favourably, adoringly and so my list can go on and on!

Dr Chapman’s concept with the love languages is that we will feel loved, favoured and cherished when our spouse “speaks” to us in our primary love language. I agree! But… I believe we should step outside of our box. Don’t avoid the other languages (like gifts!) just because it isn’t your primary language. Use all the love languages and dialects to speak love, adoration and admiration to your husband.

Remember to give him:

  • Your respect
  • Your support
  • Love
  • Kindness (in words and actions)
  • Admiration

He is after all, your one-and-only :)

Thanks for sharing my Cuppa.

Happy Day of Love

Love's impression

Love's impression - Heart drawn in sand

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barret Browning

Borrowed words

Today I borrow words from a well-known poet (Elizabeth Barret Browning) as I want to encourage you to celebrate your relationship / marriage. Whatever your current circumstances, find a reason to celebrate, to give thanks and to be kind. Bless your marriage / relationship – see it for what it is and can be.

Start with the source of love

We love because we are loved. Don’t doubt for one second that you are precious (Matt 10:29, 31). Remember that you are dearly loved (John 3:16). And take comfort in the realisation that there is Someone who sees you – all of you (1 Sam 16:7) and He adores what He sees.

Take some time to spend time with your adoring Love. Spend time with the One Admirer that will satisfy your need for love, your desire for worth and will leave you refreshed and revived. When you refill your love-tank from the true source, you will be in a position to truly give and receive love!

Happy day of Love, indeed!

Time for a special Cuppa – make one for yourself and someone else. Sharing, is after all, caring :)

the peaceful wife

Helping wives go from hurting and frustrated to empowered, healed, and confident in Christ

With a Cuppa Coffee

Hearty chats for women about this, that and whatnot.