At the watering hole…
My monthly trip to the hair salon left me somewhat gobsmacked. Our ‘gaggle’ of ladies gathered around the basins discussing children and what not. The conversation turned to sex education and the responsibilities of parents today.
I was astounded, somewhat disappointed and definitely saddened by the standard set by today’s parents. The generally accepted conclusion was that it is our duty to inform our children about adequate protection. We, as mothers, are to make sure that our children don’t have unprotected sex. Not NO SEX, just not unprotected sex.
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Eph 5:15-17 NIV
Be careful were you walk.
Paul speaks to us and tells us to be cautious in our walk. Not timid or cowardly – rather, aware and attentive of potential dangers in our walk. Because the days are evil. The world is constantly tripping us up (*) – it tempts and lures us into danger zones and then wants to wag its finger in our face, scowling with an “I told you so face”. Friends don’t pat each other on the back because the were clever enough to have protected, responsible sex. Initially, it might be cool and sought after to be the ‘brave’ or ‘liberated’ one but we have all seen how quickly the rumour mill chews up and spits out a reputation. “Cool” today becomes the “easy” of tomorrow.
“Doing wrong leads to disgrace, and scandalous behavior brings contempt.” Prov 18:3 NLT
As a woman, wife and mother I want to model to my daughter the behaviour that will set her up for success in life, love and marriage. I want to be brave enough to take a stand for the important things so that she will know her own courage. I want to help her make and stick to the difficult decisions in life because she has been set apart, along with you and me, as a princess. A favoured child of a heavenly Father and King.
“Be wise, making the most of every opportunity” Paul instructs us. To be “wise” we (as mothers / parents) ought to remember that it might be “responsible” to teach our children about protected sex but it is right to teach them to value themselves.
Teaching and modelling wisdom is about establishing a person of character (in ourselves and our daughters and sons) that can distinguish between wise and unwise (or foolish) decisions and acts and who will be held accountable for their choices in life.
I want my daughter to realize how much her heart is worth and to expect and wait for the best. I want to set up her of for a great marriage now! I want her to realise now that her femininity, her heart and her mind are all gifts from God and these should not be wasted on clanging hormones.
We should equip our kids with skills and motivation to want to do what is right, not simply what this world would settle for.
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” 2 Tim 1:7 AMP
We are armed with enough spirit, guts and conviction if we will take courage and stand for what we know is right.
Be the odd one out.
I know that it might seem archaic and even insane but I firmly believe that we can teach our children to expect more. Fundamentally, we should expect more. Aim higher. Stand stronger. We have a spirit of power that resides in us!
Standing for an “archaic” moral standard that implicitly says “wait until you are married before having sex” isn’t my way of ruining my daughter’s life or about making her the social outcast of the day. It really is about listening to…
“In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” John 16:33 MSG
We are not of this world. We don’t have to settle for what is here and now.
Instead of equipping my daughter with knowledge about Safe Sex, I want to teach her to read her Bible, to pursue the will of God and check all her decisions in this life against His unfailing Word. I want to pray with her, worship with her and celebrate with her as God establishes His plan in her life everyday.
May this weekend be kind to you and your family. Thanks for slugging through this Cuppa with me!
Footnotes:I want to be perfectly honest and clear about this matter.I feel so strongly about this particular matter because I have made wrong choices in my life. But I also know that I want more for my daughter. Thankfully the love and grace of Jesus is deep and wide and all-consuming. If you, like me, need to find love and forgiveness with Him, I pray that this Salvation Prayer will be the start of a joyous journey of reconciliation for you. (*) We are not separate from our decisions. For every behaviour there is consequence – good or bad. Please don’t read more into my statement than I intended.